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  • Writer's picture Bill Stamps

What Women Can Learn From Kids When It Comes To Online Dating

Men choose women on dating apps the same way children choose their food. Does that sound crazy or ridiculous? Stay with me and I’ll explain what I mean. Many people say dating is different these days than it used to be. I tend to disagree with that assertion. What has changed is how we go about finding dates. This is especially true for single adults over 30. You can basically divide dating into two time periods; pre-dating app and post-dating app.

Yes, the internet, social media, and dating apps have changed how we choose dates, and therefore to some degree have changed dating itself. The apps that we have on our cell phones can potentially link us to people all over the world. One might think this seemingly abundance of choices would only make dating easier and better, yet there is evidence that is not the case. However, I’ll save that theory for another article.

Dating apps allow us to pick potential dates based on pictures and a written bio. The people on these apps are people we most likely would have never run into or communicated with organically in the pre-app days. Even with the app, most people will only meet a small number of the tens of thousands available to choose from.

So what does this have to do with children? I’m getting to that. During the pre-app days or even now, when you meet someone in person you think you are interested in, you’re able to size them up before actually making a move. And since most of the time it is men who make the move, I will focus only on men right now. When a man first sees a woman at a mall, coffee shop or perhaps at a bar, he’s probably not going to approach her right away. Something about her catches his attention. So now he has to really check her out. This may involve walking by her to get a better look or waiting until she walks closer to him. If he gets a really good look and is still interested, only then might he decide to approach her.

Presentation matters. In this scenario, the man doesn’t know how nice or kind-hearted the woman is. He doesn’t know that she has a degree, is an incredible mom, hard worker, a wonderful person and perhaps his future soul mate. There is no bio for him to read. She caught is interest based on her presentation. Presentation can be looks, wardrobe or both.

Back to the dating app. Now you should have a better understanding of what I mean when I say men choose women on dating apps the same way children choose their food. It’s all about the presentation. If it looks good, kids want it. If it doesn’t, they don’t. It’s that simple. Adults are different. From experience we know certain foods may look plain but oh, once you bite into it, you’re in heaven. Other foods may have a fancy presentation but not live up to the look. Adults know it’s what’s inside that matters. We may even burn the outside but still love the inside. Children can’t see past the outside. This is why they can be easily swayed. A piece of chicken breast on a plate may not entice them. However, if you bread that same piece, fry it and call it a nugget, now you have their attention. If you’ve ever taken children to eat, you know that cool looking pictures on a menu or package can make all the difference to them. The actual cereal that’s in the box may look boring, but it’s the cereal box packaging that catches their attention and makes them want to have it.

So ladies, here’s what you need to know. Men are basically the same as children when it comes to choosing women. Your profile photos are your presentation. Your bio doesn’t mean much. At least not initially. It doesn’t matter what you say in your bio if your presentation doesn’t catch his attention. I came across a woman’s dating profile that said “souls recognize each other by vibes not appearances.” It’s interesting how only women say those types of things. You never hear or see men write things like that in their bios. The woman is not wrong. Two people may recognize they vibe or click. Chemistry is an important component of a relationship. However, two people will never get to that point if her presentation doesn’t catch his attention.

When women hear this, many immediately want to call this type of man shallow. This is incorrect. Remember, presentation only catches his attention. That is step one. All of the details about who you are as a person are just as important as your presentation. However, those details are part of step two. If you are the sweetest woman on this earth and would make an incredible wife, he’ll find that out in step two during the get to know you process. The problem is, many women are stubborn and either don’t want to work on their presentation or think their bio should catch a man’s attention. Unfortunately, it doesn’t work that way. The sweetest, tastiest cereal will sit on the shelf untouched and unsold unless it has a cool looking tiger, ship captain or superhero on the box. So ladies, if you already know your flavor is on point, don’t worry about your recipe; work on your box cover.

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