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  • Writer's picture Bill Stamps

Why Men Can't Be Themselves With Women Online

Updated: May 4, 2022

Taken from the book "Did You Read My Profile? Fifty Things a Woman Should Know About Finding Mr. Right Online"

By Bill Stamps

Men aren’t free to say what they really feel to women online. Some women may feel they can’t say what they’re thinking, but for the most part, that's not true. The fact is, there’s not much a woman can say to a man that’s going to offend him. For instance, it’s possible for a man to think he's paying a compliment to the woman and yet the woman ends up offended.

For example, if the man is looking at a profile and instead of writing hello he writes “nice curves,” or says “nice legs” during the conversation, many women wouldn't like this. They usually follow up such a statement by asking the man what he is looking for. Some may not talk to him at all. Ladies, you need to know that just because a man said nice curves does not necessarily mean he wants a hook up, fwb, or a one night stand. It also doesn't mean he wants sex on the first date. No one knows what is going on inside that man’s head except him. What we do know is that he is attracted to your curves and chose to tell you.

What women don’t understand, is that this is always a man’s reaction. You just rarely hear it in person. That’s why I said a man isn’t free to say what he’s really thinking. If this same man saw you at the grocery store, his initial reaction to you might be wow, she has nice curves. So his reaction doesn’t change whether it’s in person or online. The difference is what he chooses to say to you. This doesn't make him a pig or a jerk. If he actually approached you in the store, chances are he wouldn’t say nice curves. However, online he may feel freer to say what he is actually thinking. You shouldn't automatically block him or not talk to him just because of that. He might be thinking the same thing if he saw you somewhere else.

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